Things are more often than not, going to go sideways for us. Dulling out the feeling of concern and interest tends to provide a certain insulation to being hurt but we are not vampires in the sense that Damon and Stephen Salvatore are. We can’t just turn it off.
I might have mentioned how being careless has grown into a very tasteless trend I generally do not approve of a few hundred times. It’s actually because I don’t think it’s usually genuine. I think people actually do care about things and people but don’t want to be called out on it. There’s that issue of pride.
What I have come to learn is that every time someone does something messed up, instead of admitting to it and acknowledging that to a certain level it has fucked them up too, they resort to the customary response of ‘I don’t care.’
I also know that sometimes we take too many hits and develop that shell that twists up our caring parts(?) which is to say that yes, sometimes we genuinely don’t care. That seems like an enviable quality because these numb people are rarely phased and offended by things that other people say and do. Neither are they likely to hold back on saying things that might hurt other people so having a little less to stress about.
Caring wasn’t a quality I wanted to lack because I was under the impression that it is the right stuff to have to change things and people. I don’t know if I am technically wrong. I have seen it work for other people and while it often just made me an angry person, it also made me a bit more approachable I think. I am afraid of the type of person people become when they don’t care.
You might notice how open I have made the interpretation of the term “care” in this article. Make it mean whatever you want.
It should be okay that we let the caring go once in a while and take a selfish breath. Other people’s approval is a bottomless pit. But when we say to people that we don’t care what they think about us, we’re very often telling them that we don’t value them enough to care. “I don’t care” can get really personal, yo.